wheelsy_sheriff

It's Friday night and Henenlotter's Saddle Lounge is busy, but there's a table in the corner empty and waiting for Bill and his two deputies when they walk in.

Friendly greetings meet them as they pass through the bar, and all three men look to be in a good mood when they sit down, especially Dave and Rudy, who share a smile as they sit.

"So, Bill, seein' as t'how this is our first Friday since you've gotten back, Rudy an' I have decided somethin'," Dave says as Mary the waitress sets down three beers in front of the trio.

Bill looks at Dave and Rudy. Rudy is already set to burst out laughing.

"What's that?" Bill asks, taking a drink.

"You're buyin'," Dave answers, clinking his bottle to the bottom of Bill's, then taking a drink with a smirk.

Rudy lets his laughter out and Bill gives them each a Look.

"S'only fair, Bill," Rudy manages, after having a drink. "Dave an' I have had t'pay all this time."

"I haven't been here all this time," Bill argues, sounding indignant.

"Yeah, an' we've missed you somethin' fierce." Dave nods.

"Missed you payin'," Rudy says, and both deputies laugh.

"Assholes," Bill mutters, before he starts laughing himself.


They've been drinking, talking, and laughing for awhile when Rudy leans over and shakes Dave by the shoulder.

"Hey, hey, y'think it's time for his present?"

Dave is taking a pull on his long neck bottle and almost chokes.

"Oh yeah, yeah. I guess it is."

Bill eyes them both.

"What?"

"We got y'somethin' sheriff," Rudy replies, grinning ear to ear as Dave gives Mary a signal.

Bill turns his wary gaze from the deputies down to the tray Mary brings over; something big and round sits on top of it, covered by a dish towel.

With a bemused head shake, Mary sets it down and walks off.

"Now Bill, after recent events, Rudy an' I have decided that a standard uniform just ain't gonna cut it for you," Dave explains while Rudy nods. "So, we talked t'coach Akers, an'-- "

"Taa-daa!" Rudy says loudly, pulling off the towel to reveal an Earl Bassett High football helmet.

"S'good protection 'gainst linemen, wildlife, an' crazy ass old ladies armed with cast iron." Dave gives the helmet a rap with his knuckles, and Bill bursts into loud laughter.

"Well c'mon, put it on," Rudy insists.

Still laughing, and shaking his head, Bill takes off his cap and pulls on the helmet.

"Just like old times, ain't it?" Rudy says.

"Nah, if it were old times, y'all would be dressed like turtles." Bill cracks up, then fits the neck of his bottle through the face mask and takes a drink.


"You make the call."

"No, you make the call."

"Would someone just call already? M'drunk as shit over here an' need t'lay down." Rudy's voice is almost a groan as he sits in the middle of Bill and Dave arguing.

"Rudy, y'just shut th'hell up, y'ain't even got no one t'call in the first place," Bill says, tilting his head so he can glare at Rudy through the helmet still on his head.

"Yeah, y'-- y'need a girl, Rudy, so we can bug her for rides home," Dave says in agreement.

Rudy sulks, and Bill and Dave turn back to arguing with each other.

"J-- just call Kate t'pick us up."

"No I-- I can't." Bill shakes his head, and hiccups.

"Why not?" Dave demands, bumping the edge of the table with his bottle as he tries to set his beer down.

"'Cause... 'cause-- " Bill's face lights up then, and he smirks. "'Cause she ain't got nothin' but th'truck, an' we can't all fit."

"We'll throw Rudy in the back."

"What if he falls out again?"

"Yeah, what if I fall out 'gain?" Rudy puts in, leaning on Dave.

Dave works on an argument, frowns, then throws up his arms in disgust, knocking Rudy off of him.

"Aw, shit, fine! Lemme go call Sarah. God dammit, I hate both of y'all."

He stalks off, leaving Bill and Rudy laughing behind him.


Sarah has been waiting for the call, and is only a bit exasperated when it comes. She listens patiently as Dave goes through all manner of excuses about why they're calling her, and she even stifles a sigh when he's through.

"Y'all just stay put, alright?" she says, already shrugging on a light jacket while she juggles the phone.

"Alright, sweetheart," Dave replies, voice slurred but pleased.

"I mean it, David," she says, grabbing her keys. "Don't none of you go anywhere, I'm not runnin' no search party tonight."

"Don't worry, Bill's with Rudy, he won't get lost," Dave assures.

"Yeah, well you keep an eye on Bill, too. I'll be there in just a bit."

"Okay, love you."

"Love you, too." Sarah hangs up the phone with a soft sigh, then heads out to her car.



Loading the three officers into the car is a chore and a half, but somehow it gets accomplished; she puts all three in the backseat.

The singing she takes with many eye rolls, Bill still has his helmet on, and she ends up having to retrieve Dave after he gets out of the car while she's walking Rudy in.

She'll be glad for Kate's help with Bill when she gets him home, and as she's driving towards his house, listening to Bill and her husband belting out country songs, she realizes it might have been smart to have reinforcements from the start.

["I'm sorry, Kate, but he outta-- Dave said he outta be alright."]



Since arriving at the hospital Bill has been examined, asked more questions, and had several tests performed.

The exam showed some of his motor skills a bit lacking, but he was able to answer most of the questions, and while he can't remember all of the tests, they came out clear for serious injury.

He got sick a couple more times, but after the last time of throwing up off the side of the stretcher he felt a bit better, and when they finally put him in a room the nurse turned the lights down, which helped, too.

Now he's just tired, tired and ready to go home. He's not quite sure what the hold up is, but is hoping it's just waiting on someone to come get him.

They gave him pain killers, and those are finally starting to kick in, so he dozes in bed, exhausted after what's been a pretty shitty day.