wheelsy_sheriff: (sorrow)
wheelsy_sheriff ([personal profile] wheelsy_sheriff) wrote2009-02-02 10:08 pm

(no subject)

Title: Fault
Author: [livejournal.com profile] adam_bat
Rating: R for language
Characters: Bill Pardy (SLiTHER), Kate Warner by mention (24)
A/N: Follow up fic to this and since Crystal is blaming me I'm totally blaiming all of this on her. So there.







The front door to Millways slams open and Bill rushes in. His eyes are wide and panicked and his hands and the front of his uniform are stained with blood.

Searching frantically he snags random patrons roughly, asking desperately, "Have you seen Kate Warner?" "Has Kate come in?" "Do you know her?"

People stare and shake their heads and he moves on, quickly heading up the stairs. He checks her room and his and he's out of breath and control when he comes back down and stops at the counter.

"Bar... Kate, she... she was-- did she come in? Have-- have you seen her?"

His voice is choked and pleading, throat tight and eyes burning.

There's a delay and his insides twist as his heart falls apart when a napkin appears.

She's not here, Bill.
I'm sorry.


His legs give out and he falls, slumping to the ground with his back against the bar and bloody hands covering his face.

"No-- God, NO."

-----

Rain falls in a drizzle, soaking through his suit and turning his flesh icy. Bill doesn't notice the chill, or hear the Preacher's words; his eyes are locked on the flower covered casket and all he can do is stare and drown in guilt.

Arrangements had been hell, he'd actually had to go to the bar and get help from people there, had false papers made up and worked around countless obstacles.

"Please... I can't-- I can't, there's no way I can get her back to her own world an' they won't... they're sayin' I don't have the right to bury her. I'm not immediate family an' I don't have anything on her so they won't release her to me an', an' I just-- "



At the service he stood by, staring at the casket then, too, but in the church there was nothing to drown out the voices and words, and he heard the murmurs.

"So young, such a shame."
"Somethin' like that, happenin' here, it's terrible."
"Doesn't she have any family? You'd think they'd be here."
"I guess the Sheriff couldn't get a hold of them."
"There has to be
someone."
"Bill won't say."




When the time comes he watches as she's lowered into the muddy ground and the water streaking his face isn't just from the sky.



I never even told you that I love you.

-----

"What do you want, Dave?" Bill's voice is strained and exasperated as the deputy steps into his house.

"Bill, I'm just-- checkin' up on you. I got news from the department."

"I ain't doin' it anymore, Dave," Bill shakes his head before the other man can continue. "I quit, resigned, however the hell you wanna put it in the books."

"Bill, wait, listen-- "

"You listen!" He rounds on Dave, sending him backwards a couple steps. "I told you! You tell them to take they're god damn badge, an' uniform an' all that shit! I don't want it! I don't deserve it."

"It wasn't your fault," Dave's voice is quiet, insistent.

"It WAS my fuckin' fault!" The splintered pieces of his heart stick in his throat and Bill can't breath. "Jesus Christ! It was, I killed her. I-- " His voice cracks and his hand splays across his face as he shakes his head. ""I killed her, Dave. I did it. Me."

"Bill, no... "

Bill slumps in a chair and Dave moves forward, placing his hand on Bill's shoulder. Bill's shoulder relaxes a fraction and he accepts the comfort for a moment, and then he stiffens again and pulls away, standing up and heading down the hallway for the bedroom.

"Tell 'em to get someone else. Ask 'em to promote you, whatever. Just let me the hell alone."

The door slams and Dave stares at it a long minute before turning and leaving the house.



After Dave leaves Bill does too, heading through his closet door to Milliways.

He doesn't ask because he already knows the answer. Instead he pulls out a chair near the door and sits to wait; praying that the door opens for her and knowing in his fractured heart that it won't.