She's dimly aware of the beat of his heart and the invisible band squeezing her rib cage.

Eyes shut, she shakes her head against his collarbone, as if denial will somehow make the news less true.

(because Doc's burning pancakes in Bill's kitchen, she and Bill are teasing him about his spiral in Bill's back yard, and she's standing in line with Doc at an airport Starbucks before he boards a plane for the first time)

One hand slides past Bill's collar to stroke his hair at his nape, and she takes in an unsteady breath.

"This can't be happening."